Q: Scientist Joseph Priestley was born on March 13, 1733. He's the guy who discovered something really important -- do you know what?
A: Oxygen. Before that, people just breathed whatever happened to be in the neighborhood. Aaaaaah, oxygen! I tell ya, it's quite a gas! Once you start breathing that stuff, it's hard to quit. Priestley also discovered carbon monoxide, ammonia, hydrogen, chloride, sulfur dioxide, nitrous oxide, and chlorine. If Priestley had never been born, I might have passed chemistry.
Q: What corporation owns Kool-Aid?
A: Phillip Morris. They also own Cheez Whiz, Jell-O, Miller Beer, Marlboro, Oscar Mayer, Post Cereals, Velveeta, Tombstone Pizza, and Maxwell House.
Q: How does a giraffe clean its ears?
A: With its 21-inch tongue.
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